Feeling of inadequacy
More and more people want to re-establish and heal the contact with their inner child or those parts of the personality that one have rejected or maybe even disconnected from.
Most people find that these displaced sides both govern and poisons one's life. Gets us to react and express ourselves contrary to what we want or make us feel insufficient, unsure that we should always be strong or not dare to show others who one is or where one's boundaries go.
Hoping to be loved and respected
The wounded inner child is the child who has not been respected, appreciated, seen and heard as minor. The child who has been adhered to thinking or feeling wrong. Or maybe even been abused both mentally, physically and emotionally.
A child who doubts his worthiness, feels lonely and fearful and in order to survive, will in the end disconnect from his true self and lives on from that as a "false I" in the hope of being loved and respected.
Physical and mental defense
In order to avoid experiencing the feelings, we form a physical defense in the form of an muscle armor, so we no longer feel like, for example pain, loss, anger or loneliness.
We also form a mental protection armor that consists of strategies and reactions such as anger, impotence, giving others the blame, or roles as always being the strong or the skilled, being a tyrant, savior or victim.
We compensate by making survival strategies and these are very diverse: constant bustle, overeating, indulging in sweet, adversity / entertainment, to save others instead of feeling / taking responsibility for our own needs or reliance on recognition and acceptance from outside, pills, alcohol or stimulants.
John Bradshaw – has helped thousands of people
The American therapist John Bradshaw is one of the founders in the work of the inner child. He is famous for his lectures and workshops and he is the author of the book "Homecoming". He became more and more engaged in the healing power of the inner child - and throughout the past 30 years, has helped thousands of people to become conscious and free themselves from their grief, anxiety or emotional imbalances from childhood.
To react childishly and inappropriate
Probably most adult people have tried to respond childishly and inappropriate to conflict, criticism or other problems?
If a child's true needs and feelings are suppressed, for example the feeling of anger and grievance, the person grows up with this angered, wounded children inside. An unresolved child that as an adult will continue to demand, that the unsatisfied needs be met by its surroundings.
Basically, John Bradshaw believes that we as children have some naturally-occurring addictive needs that it is extremely important to get fulfilled.
"Homecoming" and John's personal example
A "wounded-child condition" of an adult individual may manifest itself in several ways.
In his book " Homecoming ", John Bradshaw gives a personal example:
"I could not believe I could be so childish. I was 40 years old, and I was raging and shouting until everyone - my wife, my grandchildren and my son - were scared away, so I punished them by withdrawing and drove off in my car. There I was then, alone in a motel in the middle of our vacation on Padre Island.
I felt very alone and shameful. I was confused. It was like waking up from a bad dream. More than anything else, I wanted my family life to be warm, close and loving. It was now for the third consecutive year I had exploded during the holidays. The other times I had withdrawn emotionally, but I had never moved away in the physical sense before. I realized that these emotional withdrawals were spontaneous age-regression, where I had detained my anger and expressed it in the only way a child could, in a withdrawal. "
It controls and poisons our lives
Kasha agrees with John Bradshaw that the neglected wounded inner child from the past is the main source of human suffering. That it controls and poisons our relationship with our children, partners, friends, our working situation, creativity and self-perception, and that it also prevents us from experiencing the deeper contact with ourselves and our being. With our essence and the one we basically are.
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